Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Winter Crop

     So many folks disregard the beautiful winter months for growing veggies. And sure, your climate zone plays a role in this. I'm very fortunate. California, bay area especially is so amazing for growing damn near anything your heart desires. I am kinda pissed off that I can't grow brussel sprouts. It just doesn't get cold enough. This year however, I'm thinking it might happen. That's a very big might.
You see, sprouts need a constant cold. They form nice tight little buds during that cold weather. Like a virgin lover you've never experienced. It just doesn't do that here near the bay. The big water ways keep temps at this even passe. Some of ya might experience this is the Puget Sound area. Though far more north than I/us. A big mass of water keeps temps lower and steady.
But not all is lost. It's that time of year to plant your garlic! Plant those sexy bitches! And do as much as you can. Garlic is like wine. There's never enough and it's plentiful! It goes with everything. Name me one thing garlic does not go with. Come on! Okay okay. So it might not be so awesome in ice cream of cake. Or any dessert for that matter. There is not one fucking ethnic cuisine that garlic does not play a role in. And when you hit the market and see that it traveled from Argentina or China and you live in America. California has a amazing garlic area of Gilroy, Ca. Gilroy might be a butthole of town to you. But they produce stealer garlic! You have to show it some fucking respect though. It takes its sweat ass time to grow. Yeah, 120 days or more is a long time for a harvest. But it prevails.
Root crops are in full effect son. Carrots, beets, & parsnips. Lettuces grow damn near regardless. Bok Choy, spinach, kale, fisee, what ever strain of lettuce's you can think of. Onions, all different kinds of onions! And leeks. What the fuck is there not to like about winter?! It's wet as a motha fucka out. You don't have to use water you have to pay for! Get some rain boots. Throw on some ugly ass jeans or canvas type bottoms. A long sleeve and a rain coat. Maintain your crop. Maximize your yields as if your life depended on it.

Maybe you don't have a official garden space. You're planting in containers on a balcony. Great and kick ass for you. Grow what you love to eat. But I encourage you to grow something new. Shit you wouldn't normally cook with. Seek out recipes for collard greens or rainbow chard. What's the worse that could happen? You have a running shit in the morning after your cig and coffee and it's done with. Show that lady you finally convinced to go on a date with your sorry ass that you can man the fort and cook with food you've grown and respected.

Grow more of what you darn well know you'll cook. But also grow stuff you're either intimidated by or think is gross. Grow enough of it to experiment with. Try........I don't know..... like 6 different recipes with that veggie or ingredient. Then you can eliminate it. You can honestly say, "I tried that, this and this ah way." You're over it and you'll move on. No harm no foul. Just a leaking butt hole and some smelly shit in your toilet. Nothing a shower can't cure. Wash your ass clean and it done!

And that is my talk about winter crops. Stop being a bitch about it raining. Watermellon is not in season. Neither are tomatoes. Now grab your balls and push on to what is in season. Carrots, Leeks, Beets, and a shit ton of weed since Humbolt has trimmed, cured, and shipped. Eat, Smoke and be merry ass holes! Don't forget your favorite seasonal beers either. And don't forget to treat each other well and with respect.

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