Craters, Natives, & Beer

I'm straight up exhausted! I don't want to see a shovel until that mother fucker is digging my grave. Which by the way, I've got my entire burial planned out. For the whole viewing stuff. I'll be facing face down in a box (casket) buck naked. Across my ass will be tatted, "kiss my ass good bye." Then I'll be cremated. Ashes spread over either farm land of South America or the Patagonia. During the ceremony there will more than enough cannabis and craftsman brew. I want a shindig on my death day. No fuckin tears, I'm just another ass hole to bit the dust. Have some fun and remember me for the ass hat I was.
So I dug a cater behind the house last night and today. It's a ton of work! Pick axe, spaded shovel, and a wheelbarrow were my best of friends. In unison we worked the top soil layers. Working our way into the clay, which became cumbersome. Thick, heavy, and resilient. Unwilling to move even. I called in the troops,  Lagunitas IPA. Together we bared through the horror of accomplishment. Then I found myself drunk and shy of $10.Without regret, I was content with my results. An even ground and deep enough into the earth for my footing for the beast. A 2,000 gallon rain tank. None of this could have been accomplished without Hans and plenty of Rastafaria. The likings of Soja, Mellow Mood, and RasSody (Youtube it!). Now to lay down the bender board and pea gravel for the foundation. It'll be officially official. I'm about as excited about this officialness as the liberals are about gun control. Fucking stoked!
The flower beds have been acquainted to their new placement. Cardboard has met its endeavor along side native tree mulch and Hans' piss. I can feel the micro organisms growing per millasecond. My testosteronial hard on for native plant life, has taken place faster than Lance Armstrong's admise of performance enhancing drugs. Beer bottles have been "recycled" for pennies on the dollar, but I'm reminded of intoxicated late nights with bitter coldness and hard labor of my pale skin. The lack of melanin does distinguish me from my neighborly counterparts. Needless to say, the cold bothers me none.
My mere excitement of not paying a utility bill thrusts me with excitement. Enough for me to tender a hand to my neighbor friend, to share the same experience. Why pay a local utility when one doesn't have to? You do however pay some up front costs. But after that, you say a big, "Fuck you bitch!" after that investment. Therefore I lend a hand in knowledge, materials, and resources. There are many incentives with doing such an action. You're less dependent on anyone, thing, or governs. You're in control of your freedoms and desires. Which mean no harm to fellow man or earth. It's security. Not to come across all, "Zombie Apocalypse" like. But we are after all responsible for our own well being.....right? At least I hope...... If you don't think the way I do. Well here is Al Gores way of thinking about it. You'll prevent global warming. If you're just as mindless as the rest of his Scientologist followers. This should strike a cord with you. Collect some fucking water already would ya?!? I do believe in a lesser/lower carbon foot print and impact on life in general. It doesn't take a political biasness. It's mindfulness. It's respect. It's what the natives respected prior to our current arrogance. In old fashion terms, it would be referred to as, chivalry. Google that fucking word you maniacal, gamer, myopic consumerist! Name calling aside because myopic is also a clinical word for near sidedness. Fixed focal length, Asian people know what I'm talkin about. Being all minus 8 diapters in sphere power.
I'm losing track here. In the mean time. Here are some photo's for you illiterate type who couldn't make a word of what typed. Mind you. You can be rich as fuck and implement these "idears" or be broke as I am and do the best with what resources and advantages you have going for ya.

I need coffee like a crack head needs its dope. We all have our preferences.

 Since I work during day light hours. I have to employ flood lights. They do however work rather well. So I'm not entirely complaining.

I used a pickaxe and spaded shovel to create the circumference I needed for the footing. It took me 6 hours to get it right. The tank has a diameter of 87" (inches). The footing is 94" (inches). 3.5" excessive on each side to distribute pounds of pressure and to prevent the least amount of erosion over the long haul. 

  What happens from here is filling that crater with pea gravel. Pea gravel wont puncture the rain barrel and it's a small crush. So it compacts rather tight, creating a nice footing for the barrel. I hate concrete like a bad cause of herpes. Yes, a concrete slab could be poured. I want nothing to do with concrete. A gallon of water weights 8.34lbs. Times that by 2,000 gallons. That's fuckin heavy yo! I spent about 6 hours getting this right. It was labor intensive no question. But it's done and I'm happy about that accomplishment. Thursday it will be full of pea gravel and the tank will be resting on top of it.

Native plants

Today was one of those days where I end up feeling completely accomplished with how much I got done. Don't mind that I did laundry, vacuumed, washed dishes (no dishwasher damnit!), paid bills, and cleaned 2 guns. Sorry if the thought of guns scares you. Actually.... no I'm not sorry. Fuck you! I'm one of the responsible ones. So kiss my ass.
But I got everything done on my, "To Do" list today. And that list was long. My favorite of all the chores was visiting Water Shed Nursery in Richmond. There's this guy who I just dig so much. I've met him twice, not including today. The first time was rather insignificant. The second time he must have been bored, not much going on, or in the mood to shower me with his knowledge. Regardless, I appreciated it so much. This guy has the paws of Babe Ruth. You know this fella has seen a few soil compounds and dug a many holes. The kinda fella you wouldn't mind sharing a few beers and stories with. I went in today to put a few touches on this rather small section of my front yard. Which I haven't shared "after" pictures of yet. Not sure why. Possibly because I don't have pictures of it after I tore out all the undocumented plant life. What can I say? I'm a rather shitty blogger. I can't spell for shit, my organizational skills for blogging are ill fit, and I'm rather busy.
I picked up a fern that is native to my area. It'll be a nice fit for the space it was in intended for. I'm a sucker for native sages. The same way I am for a lady with a nice toosh. Boy oh boy! I can't keep my eye off of it and can't wait to touch it. But with sages, I can't wait to put my face into it and smell it for the entire ride home. Now if I can only learn the verbage. The scientific names for these plants rattle my head so much! I can't freaking remember these names. I know there is a thing to it though. My lack of understanding makes me unable to explain how I know. One day though! I pulled out thing outa the ground and cloned another.
I threw a shit ton of poppy seeds out about a year ago. Not a damn one has come up. And it's been almost a year. While on a walk. I saw a youngster. Pulled it outa the ground and threw it in some soil. Tap root is wicked long! I'll plant it tomorrow. All you need is one of these poppy's and they'll take over the planet! Just went you thought Latino's populated like rapid fire? Poppy's have got em topped, no question. I got a few extra grasses too. Still trying to dial in this particular section and I think I'm going to include this scrub. Just gotta wait for it at the nursery or try and clone one.
Ever since meeting my friend Cris Cruz. I've gained this insane appreciation and interest for plants. They are quite amazing and should have the attention of many if not all of us.
I've got a ton cooking in the backyard as well. I've been coming in late every night for the past week getting work done. I'll follow this up with another post and some updates on the back fence and its trimmings. In the mean time, here are a few pictures.

That damn ol' fence

I have been working away at this damn ol' fence now for quite some time. At the beginning of it all I felt great! I was making progress. But then the fence was starting to rise. Then all a sudden it became isolated. The fence looks beautiful! It's as accurately built as a craftsman style home. But it's cold. It's isolating. It's not communal at all. It defeats the purpose of life. We should be able to say, "hello" every morning to each other. I feel like I wasted my money and time. Especially time. I worked really hard on this fence. Mainly because I have this stupid thing called a work ethic. In the end. I'm not surrounded by like minded folks. Therefore it must be done I suppose. Sad really. Unnecessary even. I have nothing to hide. I don't insult the neighbors sun tanning naked. I do wish they were more well kept. Now I don't have to see their trash.
I took a day off of work to fetch a 2,000 gallon rain tank, which took me 6 months to pay off. Every chance I had. I would throw a hundred bucks towards this thing. I was fortunate enough to have this company to distributes these things, allow me to do this. I had finally finished paying it off in November. I told the gal it wouldn't be another 4 weeks until I could pick it up, b/c I had all this stuff in my driveway to haul away to make the room. She was very sympathetic to my request. So my neighbor loaned me his Toyota pickup. The small little thing. Such a nice fella. I was scared as shit retrieving this damn thing, on the drive home. White knuckles like you'd never seen!. 40mph all the way down 101 south. I was thee most hated human for 2 plus hours. Hans was in the front seat with me the entire way. He constantly looked up to me with this puzzled look on his face. "What the fuck were/are you thinking you crazy ass hippy?!?" I was smiling from ear to ear the entire time. Because I knew that this tank would see 10K gallons during a rainy season and save me a mad amount of coin and flat out be cool as shit! So what if I look goofy driving home with this thing. Everyone on the freeway was looking at me and the tank like, "what the fuck is that thing!? What is he doing with his free time?" All while I'm thinking, "You must be jealous. I'm collecting free water!"
It's still sitting in my driveway. Not hooked up. I just finished that pointless fence. Fucking around with the topography for new landscape and flower beds. I've got cardboard laid out all over the place. All the misc. non sense I can find to hold it all down, so that the wind doesn't blow it over or away.

I've been finding myself laying in the wheel barrow alot lately. It's posture is quite nice. I would design a chair after this thing. Name it my next reading chair. I dropped 3K on a Kofod Larson chair I hardly ever use. Why not make the next one a cheaper investment? East Oakland has some really fucked up things about it. But I tell you what. When it's quiet. It's so peaceful. The sky is clear. The air is crisp and the breeze keeps it moving. So the smell is so distinct. I love the winter smell.

I try my best to find peace where I can. I also try and appreciate every thing and everyone where ever I am or can. I'm not perfect. But I'm mindful. So keep that in mind.

Christmas was great. I got a few books I've been wanting. This year was minimal. Food, wine, more wine, more food and music. No one was offended. I got a few pictures to share. If you have a wheel barrow, I suggest throwing on some really comfy clothes. Long Johns, wool socks, boots, beanie, and a nice warm jacket. Point that wheel barrow in a direction you like facing. Roll a joint or not. No pressure. And relax. Hang out. Listen to what's around you. Smell the air. It's mind numbing how peaceful it is. I wish to do this nightly. And I have been. Minus the joint every night. I have responsibilities as well you know.

Winter Crop

     So many folks disregard the beautiful winter months for growing veggies. And sure, your climate zone plays a role in this. I'm very fortunate. California, bay area especially is so amazing for growing damn near anything your heart desires. I am kinda pissed off that I can't grow brussel sprouts. It just doesn't get cold enough. This year however, I'm thinking it might happen. That's a very big might.
You see, sprouts need a constant cold. They form nice tight little buds during that cold weather. Like a virgin lover you've never experienced. It just doesn't do that here near the bay. The big water ways keep temps at this even passe. Some of ya might experience this is the Puget Sound area. Though far more north than I/us. A big mass of water keeps temps lower and steady.
But not all is lost. It's that time of year to plant your garlic! Plant those sexy bitches! And do as much as you can. Garlic is like wine. There's never enough and it's plentiful! It goes with everything. Name me one thing garlic does not go with. Come on! Okay okay. So it might not be so awesome in ice cream of cake. Or any dessert for that matter. There is not one fucking ethnic cuisine that garlic does not play a role in. And when you hit the market and see that it traveled from Argentina or China and you live in America. California has a amazing garlic area of Gilroy, Ca. Gilroy might be a butthole of town to you. But they produce stealer garlic! You have to show it some fucking respect though. It takes its sweat ass time to grow. Yeah, 120 days or more is a long time for a harvest. But it prevails.
   
Root crops are in full effect son. Carrots, beets, & parsnips. Lettuces grow damn near regardless. Bok Choy, spinach, kale, fisee, what ever strain of lettuce's you can think of. Onions, all different kinds of onions! And leeks. What the fuck is there not to like about winter?! It's wet as a motha fucka out. You don't have to use water you have to pay for! Get some rain boots. Throw on some ugly ass jeans or canvas type bottoms. A long sleeve and a rain coat. Maintain your crop. Maximize your yields as if your life depended on it.

Maybe you don't have a official garden space. You're planting in containers on a balcony. Great and kick ass for you. Grow what you love to eat. But I encourage you to grow something new. Shit you wouldn't normally cook with. Seek out recipes for collard greens or rainbow chard. What's the worse that could happen? You have a running shit in the morning after your cig and coffee and it's done with. Show that lady you finally convinced to go on a date with your sorry ass that you can man the fort and cook with food you've grown and respected.

Grow more of what you darn well know you'll cook. But also grow stuff you're either intimidated by or think is gross. Grow enough of it to experiment with. Try........I don't know..... like 6 different recipes with that veggie or ingredient. Then you can eliminate it. You can honestly say, "I tried that, this and this ah way." You're over it and you'll move on. No harm no foul. Just a leaking butt hole and some smelly shit in your toilet. Nothing a shower can't cure. Wash your ass clean and it done!

And that is my talk about winter crops. Stop being a bitch about it raining. Watermellon is not in season. Neither are tomatoes. Now grab your balls and push on to what is in season. Carrots, Leeks, Beets, and a shit ton of weed since Humbolt has trimmed, cured, and shipped. Eat, Smoke and be merry ass holes! Don't forget your favorite seasonal beers either. And don't forget to treat each other well and with respect.

Picture time

I got the memory card which has pictures of how things have been moving along. That speed is slow and steady wins the race since I'm going the work solo. When I pulled the sod out I came across some more weird shit in the ground. A poker table. 22" Weber BBQ, a child's doll, what use to be 2"x12"x10' board. I'm not surprised by what I pull out of the ground any more. I've about seen it all at this point. What I want to know is what the hell was going on back here at those times?

 

Some of these pictures will show you the fence that I have taken down. Two layers of cinder blocks acting as a retaining wall with only a 2" footing and no rebar. The  retaining wall had pressure from the back neighbors yard pushing against it, so it was starting to buckle onto my side. While the fence was leaning a cool 30 degrees into their yard. There was 4-5" thick nails that were exposed as well. Pretty dangerous had a kid or a family pet been back there while the thing fell down. I'm still really confused by that neighbors lack of participation in addressing this fence.                                            

It kills me to walk out to my backyard and see it in this condition. It looks like Sanford and Son's       backyard. I'm still debating on whether or not to yank out that lonely ill looking lime tree. I don't use lime enough to justify it's existence. I'd find a Lemon, apple, pomegranate, or a avocado tree far more useful. I do have 3 neighbors that already have a lemon tree. So pomegranate might be more up my       alley. If I did a avocado tree, it would be the dwarf version. Avocado trees can get freakishly huge.    

I've been building new axles for my Jeep so they can handle 35" tires for rock crawling. There is also a Bushman 205 gallon water tank to the left. I rather like my local representative, Barbara Lee. She scored our area a grant so that Oakland residents can get up to 620 gallons in rain tanks for cheap. I chose to get a few of the 205's. Once the fence is rebuilt. I'll be relocating the veggie beds to the back towards the new fence. Its great southern exposure and I'm really hoping that it'll all blend in really nicely with the new native landscape I'll be putting in. Along the new fence, I'll be creating a living wall with herbs. I'd really love to use these cool felt sleeves, but they cost way too much. So I'm thinking I'll go shopping for some of those shoe organizers that you'd hand on your closet door and string them along the entire fence. Cheap and readily available at any discount box store (Ross, TJMax, etc). One of the 205 gallon tanks will sit back there on a drip system. I can't wait to get this all going either. I kinda dislike my current watering regimen. The other 205 I'm undecided about where to place it. I'm thinking up front of the house to make it visual and easy access. I think if rain harvesting had more of a resents, it would be the norm. No one would bitch how ugly it is or wonder what it is. It would just be as normal as seeing trash can. I also plan on washing my car with rain water. You might be thinking I wont get much done with 205 gallons. However I just ordered a 1550 gallon Norwesco tank. I wont be able to pick it up until I clear the driveway, it's full of the remnants of the fence I took down and the veggie beds are in the way. I'll be placing it where the beds use to be. As well as blending in more native landscape, organizing my berry bushes better, creating a sitting area with strawberry patches, and possibly putting up a waist high fence between the house and garage, so that I can leave Hans out back and not have to worry about him chasing off the local kids. The concrete slab where I'm working on the axles is also going away. I think it breaks up the flow of how I'll have the landscape done. Besides, I fucking hate concrete. I've been looking for someone to take it off my hands to be repurposed as urbanit. I don't want to see it go to waste. I'm making a really small 3'x3'x6' tool shed to store gardening tools. I have a Reel mower which I'll probably never use again, a few rakes, shovels, and hand tools that will fit beautifully in it. The big worm compost bin will be worked into it all as well. So that is where I'm at. This is the time of year you want to be doing landscaping. The first few rain falls have come. New plants should establish easily and putting them in their place will be much easier as well.                                                                  

What it use to look like

Backyard, a photo by zero7negative on Flickr.

When I bought the house. This is what the backyard looked like. It looked "normal." I would have saved myself a ton of time, work, money, and effort had I just left it like this.
The bamboo screen against the crappy fence. That roof use to be a chicken coop. I couldn't stand those lava rocks. I cursed those things from day one.

Politics and voting

I hope you people vote. Some of my friends say voting is stupid. I actively listen to their points. And sure, the electoral college is a shame. I think we should be able to have every single vote count towards a president. We can put man on other planets, we can destroy another country with a few bombs, so why can't we get away with this primitive voting process?

My biggest thing is local voting. I know most people who vote only vote for a president b/c they lack the knowledge on prop's that are on the ballet. I think that's weak! People put all this effort into other useless bullshit like TV, Celeb gossip, and facebook (I deleted my FB account almost a year ago). So why not take a couple of hours to read through local issues? What's so hard about it? It seems people put more effort into purchasing a pair of shoes. It makes no sense to me.

I personally am a registered independent. I don't care what anyone says. Whether it be a Republican or a Democrat. They all spend a shit ton of money, they just justify it differently. Republicans love war and Democrats love giving our money to even poorer and lazier people. I understand we have a standard of living in this country. I also understand being humane and addressing social issues. But I do not care for being a welfare state. I know that probably pissed someone off.
I'm not a gung-ho democrat or republican. Living in the bay area democrats think voting democrat is the right way to vote. How is that being a informed voter? Little arrogant is it not? Same applies to Republicans. And if voting voting Democrat is the right way to vote, shouldn't Diane Finstein have done a shit load more in her 20 years in the same seat? Most of us would lose our jobs had we been that non productive.

I don't see a difference between the two ass hats running for President. I also think Californians are dumb asses for putting that failure Jerry Brown back as Governor. In case you didn't know. The state budget was passed only in hopes that Prop30 passes. Nice gamble huh? I voted yes for the tax increase. But I swear to fucking god, if the state comes back asking for more taxes I'm going to personally kick Jerry Brown in the dick. Especially after that high speed rail system non sense got funding. Sure its going to create jobs and be ground breaking for our state in the sense that we'll have the first thing like it in the country. I still think it's a joke of a project. Starting in Fresno of all places and ending in LA. At some point it will make it's way to San Francisco.

I also think Prop37 is stupid. If these so called "Organic" farmers wanted this kind of legislation. Why don't they take the liberty of labeling their own products? Isn't that being proactive? I'm 100% against GMO and Monsanto and it's affiliates. So don't get me wrong on that. I'm also a advocate for a food system that isn't tampered by man. USDA calls it, "Organic." I dislike that word too. All these bay area people puke the word organic like it's a new thing. I find it to be a excuse to charge an arm and a leg for produce and that's fucked up. Talk about separating classes. And I don't wanna hear a sad song about how farmers are broke. I've never met a broke farmer. And if they are indeed broke. Then stop ridding the coat tails of the government and work your farm. I come from a farming family and have known many.

I'm for the death penalty. I say put in a car pool lane. That's on the ballet as well. Not sure of the prop number, but California is trying to abolish it. Three strikes law is majorly flawed. How the hell is a dude going to be doing life in prison with no chance of parole over pizza? That is a non violent or sexual crime. Logic!
I would never claim to be a political scientist. Nor do I read through every little detail of legislation. I try to use as much logic possible and to ask questions about what is going on. So if you have a adult comment leave some words. And remember, opinions are like ass holes. Everyone has one and they all stink.