Slowly saying good bye

Slowly saying good riddance to concrete! The progress lately has been kinda slow. Concrete is heavy, did you know that? I underestimated its back breaking capabilities. I got my jollies off using a jack hammer. It about rattled the few remaining brain cells I had left. I think it would have been easier had I pulled out the Remington 870 with 3" slugs and went to town on it. I once saw a fella chop down his Christmas tree using buck shoot.
Started out like this. Big slab of concrete, jack hammer, and beer (not in picture). Like usual. I did this at night. it was like 6pm. It was dark by this time. Not sure if I pissed anyone off with all the noise. Don't really care either. The last picture is of the first flush diverter setup. So the rain tank is ready for rain. But there has been next to no rain. Makes me sad.
I have yet to get to the sidewalk that still remains along side the garage. That's coming out as well. Artichokes will  be planted along side it. While on the opposite side will be an herb garden. Not the ganja kinda garden. The culinary kinda herbs. Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano, and the such. I'm also thinking a outside kitchen. Not the wicked expensive type that rich folks can afford. I'll build a brick oven or pizza oven as it is referred to at times. A couple of burners mounted into a counter top surface area which will include a sink and an area for chopping and doing prep work. I'll probably source all the materials from second hand sources. Craigslist, whatever I find on the side of street, Urban Ore in Berkeley, etc.
The backyard landscape will resemble a California prairie. Tons of native flowers, grasses, & shrubs. Thick and lushious! Landscapes that aren't useful bug me. Prairies seem to warm and inviting. It begs to be walked in. To get lost in its tall blades while laying on your back in the summer sun. Bee's pollinating, birds eating seeds, and all the beneficial bugs that come with the territory. I'm not super knowledgeable of landscape architecture. It takes me a long time to gather inspiration and a know how of how to make things look. I don't want it to look like a train wreck. Though I'm sure I'd be okay in the long run. I still want some order to the madness. I'm not looking for a staged landscape. We shall soon find out how it pans out. I should be crackin on this shortly. I'm going to Sonoma Compost in Petaluma this week for compost for the veggie beds. I haven't been growing anything in them b/c they were going to be moved. Now that they are moved. I just need to get my soil compound situated. Then I'll start on the landscaping. I also ordered these horse troughs for the berry bushed. Got 3 of em. I do need to gather more cardboard. I'm running really low!

No Rain. Not the Blind Melon song

Where has the rain been? Maybe it has this pent up sexual energy and when it does finally rain. It'll be like that wet vagina. Like a Slip and Slide. Remember that from the 80's? In my optimistic hopes for a torrential downpour. I'm piecing together the first flush diverter kit, to connect to the house gutter. This kit fills up with water to catch things one does not want in their rain tank. Leafs, roof shingle pebbles, hard bird shit. That kinda stuff. Here is an example of what it is, what it does, and what it looks like.

Diez Tacos por favor

Trying to situate this new veggie bed has become quite the task for this chico blanco. The lumber is all bowed. Wont lay flat, straight, or anything to that nature. It kinda pisses me off because we've come a long way in milling technology since......1950.
So I shout out a food order through the fence to my neighbors. Who just arrived home from the Oakland piers, where they serve their food during the day time hours. I slip 10 bucks through the fence boards. Take down the last 4oz of my beer and open another one. I use these clamps that really help when I'm working solo. You squeeze the handle until tight, but not too tight. You check your alignment and level. Once dialed in. You give it that last couple of squeezes, until you can't make it any tighter. Secure! Drill the pilot hole. I don't want any wood chipping like a hang nail. I want clean holes and corners kissing like 2 horny teenagers.
Fifteen minutes later. I hear a whistle followed by, "capasa vecino! ven a comer!" 10 incredibly freshly made tacos. I bit into the first one and had to check my pants for premature ejaculation. Descriptive, I know. But I'm not kidding about these folks and their cooking. It's off the charts! When Anthony Bourdain came to S.F and he had a snipit of him in East Oakland visiting a taco truck. He missed some damn good food. I've lived in East Oakland for 3 years now. I've eaten at more food trucks then you have fucked women or men. I've gotten the shits from 3 of em. I've got my 5 trucks I go to on rotation. I like the horchata better at certain ones over the others. Some are just way too dang sweet. While others...meh! No flavor. But all 5 of these trucks have there shit on point! They know how to get this wedo coming back for more.
Anyway, it started raining on me in the middle of drilling pilot holes. I got so excited about rain falling. I dropped what I was doing. Made sure there was a 5 gallon or more bucket under every spout. Started hand carrying buckets of water to the massive rain tank, 5 gallons at a time. Got about 100 gallons in 15 minutes of rain fall. I'll see how many more beers I drink. If I end early. I'll get up early and finish drilling holes.

There's no damn television in this house

That's right! No T.V. Fuck that thing. I don't watch sports. If I want to watch reality T.V. I'll lift the blinds in the living room. I'm in the damn ghetto. There's always shit going on. Way better than what cable can provide. I got the cooking channel in my kitchen. And Pandora is my MTV. I'm not interested in liberal or conservative bias media for news coverage. Besides it's the same shit. 7am. There's traffic. And some ass clown crashed into someone. I wouldn't expect anything less. There was probably another shooting in Oakland and no suspects. What's new there? And what over paid no talent ass hat rapper got beef with who now? There's your news folks. Oh I forgot. Economy sucks, people are jobless, homeless, fat but yet starving. And the S&P is minus a few points. Maybe Toyota has another recall. That's the news. Having a T.V is like having a land line telephone. There's no need! It's obsolete.

There's the internet. All the same bullshit news, tons of porn! Music for days. Social media if you're into that time consuming, brain cell draining bullshit.
So my question is. What have you been reading lately? Personally I've read a shit load in the past 6 weeks. I read like a special ed kid by the way. I wish I could read like that robot from Short Circuit. That would be sweet! There is so much cool stuff to read. And I'm not talking about audio books you lazy ass. Put down the soda and fries and pick up a bloody book!
I Finished up Teaming with Microbes. Worms East My Garbage (for the 3rd time). Holy Cows & Hog Heaven and Folks, this ain't normal by Joel Salatin. Next on the list is one by Will Allen. He is to me as the Kardashian's are to suburbanites. The cerebral lazy if you will.

Then it's onto, Holy Shit by Gene Logsdon. He's actually got a few things he's written that I'm really anxious to read. I need to finish up a few John Jeavons books too. I'm thinking I want to take one of his 3 day workshops. In order to take one of those work shops. They do have required reading. Which might sound of cult like to some. But on the other hand. John has been practicing and studying his craft for 40+ years. What he is doing is completely against the grain and not common practice. The required reading is justifiable.

Here are some links that you can use as a resource. You might find it resourceful for more than one thing.
* http://www.polyfacefarms.com/books-dvds/
* http://thecontraryfarmer.wordpress.com/gene-logsdon-and-his-books/
* http://www.growingpower.org/
Note: Google the name, Will Allen. Watch read, and mentally process everything on this guy. I saw him and Joel Salatin at this farmers conference in Grass Valley. Mind blowing stuff! Will deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. And such a gentle giant. The dudes huge!
 Now, if you're going to rot your brains with T.V. Watch some shit with some substance. Sorry all you Star Wars nerds. This might not strike a cord with you.
* http://www.kingcorn.net/
* http://www.takepart.com/foodinc
* http://www.hulu.com/watch/279734
* http://www.freshthemovie.com/
* http://www.movieweb.com/movie/fat-sick-nearly-dead/HUpBMVd0dy2wsv
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-eRXuuH9AI

There! That should keep you busy for the next month if not longer.

Rain Tank is setup and roaring....well...sorta

The tank is in its permanent home. The ball valve has been connected at the lower end of the tank. This is where the water hose will connect. If you do attempt something like this. The footing needs to be taken quite serious and with a meticulous amount of detail in your work. Making sure that the sides are actually straight up and down and not at a slope. I suggest going the extra mile. If the instructions state to dig a 6" deep footing. Make it 8". 1 gallon of water weights 8.34lbs. 2,000gallons of water would then weight 16,680lbs. Just thinking of that amount of weight makes my chest hurt.
I visited Globe plumbing on Seminary. Just before San Leandro Blvd. They got me the parts needed at a reasonable price and the people there are really helpful. You'll want to use teflon tape around the treads. Now there is a correct way of wrapping teflon tape. You wrap it in the direction of how you'll be screwing on your connections. So like the saying goes, "righty tighty, lefty loosey." So imagine you're screwing in a light bulb. You wrap the teflon tape in that same direction, capiche?
I'm currently at the point where I need to connect the gutter of the house to the tank. To do this. The  pitch of the gutter needs to be found. Reason being is to know whether or not the angle will allow the water to flow into the soon to be new down spout. Which will channel water into the tank. The down spout for the cutter is currently in front of the house, while the tank is in the back of the house. Under normal conditions. The gutter should, might, outabe, at a angle to direct water to a desired outlet ie down spout. My uncle, whom use to work on houses doing gutter work. Told me that most of the time they are not angled. So I'm really hoping that mine are level, which will require far less work. A whole saw bit will be used to drill the desired diameter for the new connection. I'll just use 3" PVC pipe from the gutter to the tank and wala!
To find out if the gutter is rockin to one side or the other. Or to see if it's level. I'm going to use a leveler and get on the roof with a water hose to see how the water flows. Pretty low tech. There are fancy devices out there to do this kinda work. But no need to spend the extra coin. It will however require some effort.
I used bender board around the circumference of the crater I dug. I also used steaks screwed onto the bender board. Then filled the crater with pea gravel. And this is what created the footing or foundation if you will. This can also be done with a concrete slab. It might have been easier with the slab. But I'm really trying to eliminate as much concrete as possible. So just pick your poison.
There is a EBMUD rebate out again for converting your water thirsty lawn to drought tolerant plants. Since I missed the last one. I have signed up for the new one. Not very many folks took advantage of the last one. So they have restructured the rebate. Making the rebate more fiscally appealing. That is, if you incorporate a drip system. Which seems like a oxymoron. If you have drought tolerant plants. They shouldn't need much in the means of water. Plus with a rain tank. I can just water from that if the rainy season is as bad as it is this winter.
I'm waiting for the guy to come out to take pictures and measurements again. So I can't touch the backyard until then. And since the area where the tank is doesn't count towards the rebate (because there was no existing lawn there). I'm just going to start planing that area. Throw down card board and mulch. Start planting some natives. And maybe start building a fence between the house and garage. Just a short one. I don't want towering fences everywhere. Fences are kinda pointless in my mind. But not everyone agrees. But at least this fence will keep Hans in the backyard instead of him chasing the neighbor kids off.
Finally got to the computer that I'm familiar with to upload pictures. I'm thrown back every time I pick up a power tool. I've got two favorites right now. The all mighty miter saw and jig saw. As a complete virgin to tools. I really like the Bosch stuff thus far. Being as naive as I am to these outstanding tools. Perhaps I shouldn't have a preference in name brand. After all, I should learn how to actually use them fluidly. But hey! I'm getting there. I'm thinking a a nice 10-13 inch planer and router are next in my tool arsenal. If I had a nifty friend with a band saw. I could mill my own lumber from fallen trees near by.

Working late into the night like usual. I was making sure that things were square. At least as square would get with being a circle. I put a little more gravel in the center of the footing. I have no confirmation of my thought process on this. But I figured if I put a touch more gravel in the center of the footing. That once the tank started taking on some water weight.  That it would force some of that excess gravel outwards. Filling in any dead space. I did not use any sort of mathematical formulation for this. Purely a guesstimate.

I have since pulled the weeds and temporarily moved the raspberry bush until I get a live stock water trough. The trough will not allow the roots to grow through the bottom like these felt bags have. The felt bags were a temporary situation until I made progress. I have raspberry, blackberry, and blueberry to put into troughs. Should be enough fruit to both eat and preserve at some point.

I sold one of my veggie beds. Only because I was really unhappy with how it turned out in regards to its uneven cuts and horribly constructed corners. It was my first veggie bed I'd ever built. Pretty much the first time as an adult that I had used power tools. I also decided to smoke a joint prior to constructing that veggie bed. Not a great ideal. I became way to relaxed for my control freak nature. Therefore I learned. No harm no foul. I still have all my digits and no one got hurt. I do not endorse refer smoking and critical thinking at the same time. Especially with saw blades spinning at 4000rmps. Up with hope, down with dope! At least until all your responsibilities have been met. But things are looking decent. Not great, but decent. I am building a new veggie bed by the way. It shall have my perfectionist qualities in place this go around.
I can't remove any of the new lawn growth until the EBMUD guy shows up to take pictures. If I do remove anything. I would then void myself of the rebate they are offering. Gotta save money where I can. Oh and I chopped down that lime tree. I felt like such as ass hole. I had a connection with that tree. Not really, but it was the runt. The last thing standing after I had chopped, dug, and used explosives on every other tree. But not to worry. It shall be replaced with another. Just not in the form of a lime tree. I was thinking a money tree. Now if I can just find the butt hole selling the damn things!

Craters, Natives, & Beer

I'm straight up exhausted! I don't want to see a shovel until that mother fucker is digging my grave. Which by the way, I've got my entire burial planned out. For the whole viewing stuff. I'll be facing face down in a box (casket) buck naked. Across my ass will be tatted, "kiss my ass good bye." Then I'll be cremated. Ashes spread over either farm land of South America or the Patagonia. During the ceremony there will more than enough cannabis and craftsman brew. I want a shindig on my death day. No fuckin tears, I'm just another ass hole to bit the dust. Have some fun and remember me for the ass hat I was.
So I dug a cater behind the house last night and today. It's a ton of work! Pick axe, spaded shovel, and a wheelbarrow were my best of friends. In unison we worked the top soil layers. Working our way into the clay, which became cumbersome. Thick, heavy, and resilient. Unwilling to move even. I called in the troops,  Lagunitas IPA. Together we bared through the horror of accomplishment. Then I found myself drunk and shy of $10.Without regret, I was content with my results. An even ground and deep enough into the earth for my footing for the beast. A 2,000 gallon rain tank. None of this could have been accomplished without Hans and plenty of Rastafaria. The likings of Soja, Mellow Mood, and RasSody (Youtube it!). Now to lay down the bender board and pea gravel for the foundation. It'll be officially official. I'm about as excited about this officialness as the liberals are about gun control. Fucking stoked!
The flower beds have been acquainted to their new placement. Cardboard has met its endeavor along side native tree mulch and Hans' piss. I can feel the micro organisms growing per millasecond. My testosteronial hard on for native plant life, has taken place faster than Lance Armstrong's admise of performance enhancing drugs. Beer bottles have been "recycled" for pennies on the dollar, but I'm reminded of intoxicated late nights with bitter coldness and hard labor of my pale skin. The lack of melanin does distinguish me from my neighborly counterparts. Needless to say, the cold bothers me none.
My mere excitement of not paying a utility bill thrusts me with excitement. Enough for me to tender a hand to my neighbor friend, to share the same experience. Why pay a local utility when one doesn't have to? You do however pay some up front costs. But after that, you say a big, "Fuck you bitch!" after that investment. Therefore I lend a hand in knowledge, materials, and resources. There are many incentives with doing such an action. You're less dependent on anyone, thing, or governs. You're in control of your freedoms and desires. Which mean no harm to fellow man or earth. It's security. Not to come across all, "Zombie Apocalypse" like. But we are after all responsible for our own well being.....right? At least I hope...... If you don't think the way I do. Well here is Al Gores way of thinking about it. You'll prevent global warming. If you're just as mindless as the rest of his Scientologist followers. This should strike a cord with you. Collect some fucking water already would ya?!? I do believe in a lesser/lower carbon foot print and impact on life in general. It doesn't take a political biasness. It's mindfulness. It's respect. It's what the natives respected prior to our current arrogance. In old fashion terms, it would be referred to as, chivalry. Google that fucking word you maniacal, gamer, myopic consumerist! Name calling aside because myopic is also a clinical word for near sidedness. Fixed focal length, Asian people know what I'm talkin about. Being all minus 8 diapters in sphere power.
I'm losing track here. In the mean time. Here are some photo's for you illiterate type who couldn't make a word of what typed. Mind you. You can be rich as fuck and implement these "idears" or be broke as I am and do the best with what resources and advantages you have going for ya.

I need coffee like a crack head needs its dope. We all have our preferences.

 Since I work during day light hours. I have to employ flood lights. They do however work rather well. So I'm not entirely complaining.

I used a pickaxe and spaded shovel to create the circumference I needed for the footing. It took me 6 hours to get it right. The tank has a diameter of 87" (inches). The footing is 94" (inches). 3.5" excessive on each side to distribute pounds of pressure and to prevent the least amount of erosion over the long haul. 

  What happens from here is filling that crater with pea gravel. Pea gravel wont puncture the rain barrel and it's a small crush. So it compacts rather tight, creating a nice footing for the barrel. I hate concrete like a bad cause of herpes. Yes, a concrete slab could be poured. I want nothing to do with concrete. A gallon of water weights 8.34lbs. Times that by 2,000 gallons. That's fuckin heavy yo! I spent about 6 hours getting this right. It was labor intensive no question. But it's done and I'm happy about that accomplishment. Thursday it will be full of pea gravel and the tank will be resting on top of it.

Native plants

Today was one of those days where I end up feeling completely accomplished with how much I got done. Don't mind that I did laundry, vacuumed, washed dishes (no dishwasher damnit!), paid bills, and cleaned 2 guns. Sorry if the thought of guns scares you. Actually.... no I'm not sorry. Fuck you! I'm one of the responsible ones. So kiss my ass.
But I got everything done on my, "To Do" list today. And that list was long. My favorite of all the chores was visiting Water Shed Nursery in Richmond. There's this guy who I just dig so much. I've met him twice, not including today. The first time was rather insignificant. The second time he must have been bored, not much going on, or in the mood to shower me with his knowledge. Regardless, I appreciated it so much. This guy has the paws of Babe Ruth. You know this fella has seen a few soil compounds and dug a many holes. The kinda fella you wouldn't mind sharing a few beers and stories with. I went in today to put a few touches on this rather small section of my front yard. Which I haven't shared "after" pictures of yet. Not sure why. Possibly because I don't have pictures of it after I tore out all the undocumented plant life. What can I say? I'm a rather shitty blogger. I can't spell for shit, my organizational skills for blogging are ill fit, and I'm rather busy.
I picked up a fern that is native to my area. It'll be a nice fit for the space it was in intended for. I'm a sucker for native sages. The same way I am for a lady with a nice toosh. Boy oh boy! I can't keep my eye off of it and can't wait to touch it. But with sages, I can't wait to put my face into it and smell it for the entire ride home. Now if I can only learn the verbage. The scientific names for these plants rattle my head so much! I can't freaking remember these names. I know there is a thing to it though. My lack of understanding makes me unable to explain how I know. One day though! I pulled out thing outa the ground and cloned another.
I threw a shit ton of poppy seeds out about a year ago. Not a damn one has come up. And it's been almost a year. While on a walk. I saw a youngster. Pulled it outa the ground and threw it in some soil. Tap root is wicked long! I'll plant it tomorrow. All you need is one of these poppy's and they'll take over the planet! Just went you thought Latino's populated like rapid fire? Poppy's have got em topped, no question. I got a few extra grasses too. Still trying to dial in this particular section and I think I'm going to include this scrub. Just gotta wait for it at the nursery or try and clone one.
Ever since meeting my friend Cris Cruz. I've gained this insane appreciation and interest for plants. They are quite amazing and should have the attention of many if not all of us.
I've got a ton cooking in the backyard as well. I've been coming in late every night for the past week getting work done. I'll follow this up with another post and some updates on the back fence and its trimmings. In the mean time, here are a few pictures.